


It Should Be Illegal To Be That Attractive

by Ereri_tears, IrnBru



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A shit ton of swearing, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Because Levi with tattoos and piercings is my weakness, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eren has a German Shepard, Eren starts off as a little shit but turns into such a sweetheart, French-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), German Eren Yeager, If I can write it well enough, Levi had a bit of a bad past, Levi has a kitten called Harley, Levi has piercings, M/M, Mainly from our dearest Levi, Panic Attacks, Possible smut, This isn't a sad fic even though it has depression and anxiety mentioned throughout it, and tattoos, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8060512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ereri_tears/pseuds/Ereri_tears, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrnBru/pseuds/IrnBru
Summary: When Levi walks into his office on Monday morning only to find some kid by the name of Eren Jaeger sitting in front of his desk, the first thing he thinks is 'Goddamn, it's too early for this shit'.
After realising that Erwin has given him a big 'fuck you' and hired an assistant that he didn't want, Levi decides that he should probably quit and become homeless, because Jesus Christ the brat is annoying.
And extremely attractive, but he's trying not to think about that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first multi-chaptered story, and I know how I want the story to progress, but I have zero clue how long this is going to be. I'm so organized for this. Ko.
> 
> But I just want to summarize (summarise?) real quick, so bear with me.
> 
> Levi has anxiety in this, though it's not obvious to those who he hasn't told. He was depressed when he was a child/teen, and throughout the years he gets better and better, but still occasionally gets overcome and gets into a depressed state, but that will be very rare in the story. The only time depression will be mentioned is if Levi had one of these moments or if he is talking to someone about it/thinking of his teenage years. Just to clarify.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story as much as I did while writing it.
> 
> And, side-note, updates might be a little weird as I get into a routine around school and stuff. And my writing might seem slightly 'tense', but as I write more, my writing will become more relaxed, so sorry about that aha.
> 
> Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Comments, kudos and feedback are appreciate!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi thinks that, just perhaps, today will be a fairly easy-going, relaxed day; he would interview people to be his personal assistant, reject them all because _fuck_ no, then he would spend the day in his office doing boring but simple paperwork.
> 
> But no. Because fuck Erwin, the big tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Harley is like my child. She's such a cutie, and I could write about her all day. She's kind of based off of one of my/my sisters cats, Tasha, who's black and white and has a lil white mustache.
> 
> Just a lil bit of info that you didn't need to know there. Oh well.
> 
> But anyways, enjoy the first chapter!!
> 
> P.S Just thought it was important to put this in that Eren is 21 and Levi is 25. I didn't want a huge age gap between them, so there you go :)

Levi groaned as he felt something soft strike his face repeatedly, and rolled onto his side to get away from whatever it was. But it followed after him, jumping onto his shoulder and mewling in his ear and butting its head against Levi's chin. In its haste to gain Levi's attention, it fell from his shoulder with a terrified squeak and landed next to his face. Levi opened an eye to see the black furball looking back at him, and watched as a white paw ever-so-slowly came out to rest on his nose.

 

"Harley, it's too early for your shit. I've got to have at  _least_ another hour to sleep, so go away." Levi groaned sleepily, but reached out to scratch behind her ear affectionately despite his grumbling. Harley meowed and removed her paw from his nose in favor of curling up against his chest. Levi smiled and sighed, knowing that this was one of those rare mornings when she would let him go back to sleep. He checked his phone quickly and found that he did indeed have another hour to sleep, so he turned and pulled Harley closer to him and closed his eyes to the sound of her soft purring.

 

But no. God decided to give him a big "fuck you," and decided that, yes, now would be a good fucking time for Hanji to call. Levi picked up the phone and answered, as Harley looked up at him in interest at the noise.

 

"Four-eyes, when I get into work, I'm kicking your ass up and down the building, I swear. What the fuck do you want?" Levi spat out, annoyance clear in his voice. Harley mewled up at him and licked his chin affectionately, as though trying to calm him down.

 

"Wow, someone's grumpy this morning! Did Harley wake you up? She's such a cutie, I need to come see her again soon. Anyways, I know you still have time to sleep before you need to come into work, but it was just to let you know Erwin has set up interviews for your new assistant/secretary today. And he expects you to actually chose one this time, unlike last time when half of them ran out of the building in tears and the other half looked like you had just murdered their family. I'm pretty sure one guy fainted last time because of what you said to him. That was great, try and do that again this time, please. Anyways, I'll see you in a few hours! Enjoy your sleep, my darling!" And the phone was promptly hung up, leaving Levi closing his eyes in irritation.

 

And by that point, Harley decided that, no, he was not allowed to go back to sleep, and began batting his face with her paw again and trying to headbutt him. She meowed loudly and jumped onto his face, determined to get him up. Levi sighed and relented, picking up the small kitten and holding her in his arm as he threw back the covers and stood, and walked to the kitchen to put out food for her. He sat her down on the floor and picked up a pouch of kitten food, and put it into her food bowl with some dry food. He refilled her water and crouched to stroke her back as she ate. She meowed at him and butted her head against his leg before going back to eating, purring happily.

 

Levi smiled despite his tiredness and stood, and, deciding that there was no point in going back to bed, he walked to his bathroom and showered. He took a longer shower than usual, letting the water seep into his skin and wake him up. He thought back to Hanji's phone call about his new assistant. It wasn't that he needed one, but Erwin told him that having one would make his life at work easier. Levi rolled his eyes at the memory as he washed his hair. He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and turned the shower off as he wrapped a towel around d his waist. He brushed his teeth before walking through the door to his room. Levi walked over to his closet and picked out a pair of dark jeans and a [Henley](https://cdn.lookastic.com/looks/black-henley-shirt-navy-jeans-tan-boots-brown-watch-original-13099.jpg). He walked out his room and placed his brown boots by the door so he could put them on before he left and so that he wouldn't get his floor dirty.

 

Harley quickly padded out of the kitchen and ran over to the couch, attempting to jump up onto it. Levi watched in amusement as she almost made it but fell back to the floor, and walked over to help her up.

 

" _Là vous allez, chaton_." ( _There you go, kitten_ ) Levi murmured affectionately, scratching under her chin as he sat her down on a cushion, and watched as she stretched her neck out and purred happily. He sat down beside her and picked her up again, and placed a kiss on her nose. Harley put her front paws onto his chin and mewled at him, and butted her head against his cheek. Levi leaned back and sat her down, and she placed her hind paws on his chest and kept her front paws on his chin as she rubbed her face against his cheek. He scratched behind her ear as she began purring and licking his cheek.

 

The gentle moment between Levi and Harley was disrupted as his phone began ringing, and he put Harley down on his lap as he sat up and answered it. "What?" He spat out, annoyed at whoever was phoning him.

 

"Wow, Hanji was right, you are in a bad mood this morning. You should get a cup of coffee or something. And you better not act up today at the interviews today, Levi. I mean it." Erwin told him, and Levi could practically hear the frown that he was most likely wearing in his voice.

 

"... Did you seriously phone me just to tell me that? Hanji's already told me to play nice, so stop frowning, it makes your eyebrows look even bigger." Levi retorted, rolling his eyes. Harley looked up at him and gave a squeaky meow, wanting Levi's attention on her again. Levi ran his hand down her back, before stroking her head as she sat down and closed her eyes in bliss at the attention.

 

Levi heard the long sigh that Erwin gave him, before he heard the phone click and Erwin hung up. Levi bit back the smirk that threatened to appear, and put his attention back to Harley, who was looking up at him in disgust because he had stopped stroking her head.

 

" _Je n'ai jamais vu un chat avec plus d'expressions du visage que vous, vous petite merde_." ( _I've never seen a cat with more facial expressions than you, you little shit_.)Levi told her, picking her up and standing, and walked over to her [bed](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6koSEJyWa3E/UAmKLVmPIfI/AAAAAAABK5c/fz4WwMcZSZs/s1600/9.jpg) to put her inside. He crouched down as he set her down, and stroked her head gently. " _Je t'aime, Harley."_ ( _I love you, Harley._ )

 

Levi continued stroking her until she fell into a slumber, and quietly stood back up. He walked over to the couch and picked up his phone and earphones, and walked to the door. He picked up his car keys that were hanging by the door, and put his boots on. Levi cast one last glance back to Harley's bed, before unlocking the door and stepping out. After locking the door, he walked to his [Acura NSX](http://icdn2.digitaltrends.com/image/acura-nsx-640x640.jpg) and climbed inside, sighing softly and rubbing his hands over his face, hoping that he would have an easy day.

 

Levi started the car and began the drive to his work. He fiddled with the radio for a few moment and settled for a rock channel, singing the words softly under his breath until he pulled into the staff car park of **Smith Dok** , the law firm where he was currently a senior partner and working under Dok and Shitwin. He sighed and thumped his head back against the headrest, debating whether or not to just go back home and phone in sick. Preferably for the rest of his life, but he doubted he would get away with that.

 

Levi took a deep breath and got out the car, locking it and schooling his expression into his usual 'no bullshit' face. He walked through the doors and nodded his head to the receptionist, who blushed and stuttered out a, "O-oh, good morning, Mr. Ackerman!!". Levi walked to the elevators and pressed the 'up' button, and pulled out his phone to check the time. The elevator doors smoothly opened and he walked inside. Levi leaned back against the railing and pressed the button for the top floor. He turned to the side and looked at his reflection in the mirror for a moment before looking at the doors. He closed his eyes during the wait and thought about his schedule for the day, and took a deep breath as he thought about the interviews that Eyebrows was forcing him to go through.

 

The elevator gave a shrill 'ping' that had Levi wincing slightly, and made a mental note to speak to Erwin about the noise. As he walked out the elevators, he checked his phone and saw it was 10 a.m., and decided to wander through the bullpen and scare the shit out of the associates. As he arrived, he stopped in the doorway and saw most of the associates doing the work they were supposed to, though there were some who were crowded around one desk and having a laugh with each other.

 

Levi cleared his throat loudly and the room went silent; wide eyes of those who were slacking off turned to face him, whilst others sank down in their seats and avoided eye contact. "I'm sorry, are we fucking paying you to stand around and piss about? No? I didn't fucking think so. Get your asses back in your cubicles and get some fucking work done!" Levi yelled, causing them to yelp and scramble back to their desk in order not to anger him further. Levi scoffed and gave an irritated 'tch', and walked through the bullpen, making sure to glare at those not doing their work.

 

Levi walked out the glass doors at the other end of the bullpen without looking back, and walked past the glass walls of others offices. He saw Hanji chatting to Moblit, her executive assistant, and nodded at her as he passed. She gave him a look that he couldn't quite figure out, but he knew that when it came to Hanji, it couldn't be good. Levi continued walking until he saw the glass walls of his office and almost smiled in relief. Almost.

 

Because when he pushed opened the glass door, the first thing he saw was some... Some  _kid_ sitting on his sofa and looking through a booklet of paper in his lap.

 

"What the fuck are you doing?"

 

The boy looked up at Levi when he spoke, before standing and setting the paper down on the glass table.  _Why the fuck is there so much glass, Jesus Christ._

 

"Good morning, Mr. Ackerman, I'm Eren Yeager. Mr. Smith told me to just come through and wait for you. I'm your new Executive Assistant." Eren told him, giving Levi a dazzling smile that almost blinded him for a moment, before Levi realised what the kid said.

 

"Did you just say you're my new Executive Assistant? I haven't hired an assistant yet." Levi questioned, not moving away from the still open door. He saw Hanji approaching his office from the corner of his eye, before she saw his expression and backed away slowly.

 

"Mr. Smith hired me. He told me you were more than likely not going to hire anyone, so he already held the interviews and hired me." Eren told him, looking at him with confidence and not the nervousness that Levi had expected.

 

Levi stared at him for a moment, before turning and walking out the door. " _Que maudite putain de arbre._ " ( _That Goddamn fucking tree._ ) Levi hissed under his breath, and heard Eren following behind him, though there was some distance between them as though Eren expected Levi to beat the shit out of him. Which he was seriously debating doing. Levi marched angrily towards Erwin's office, and almost smiled at the fear on Erwin's face when he saw Levi through the glass. Almost.

 

Levi threw the door open and walked in, crossing his arms when he was directly in front of Erwin's desk. He watched as Erwin's eyes glanced to the side, most likely looking at Eren, before meeting Levi's own hardened glared.

 

"What the  _fuck_ , Erwin?!" Levi seethed, watching as Erwin sat up straighter and pushed his chair back slightly.

 

"Good morning, Levi." Erwin spoke with a hint of sarcasm. "What seems to be troubling you?" He asked, though Levi knew he knew damn well what was troubling him.

 

"What the fuck is troubling me?  _He_ is what's troubling me, shithead!" Levi all but growled as he pointed at Eren. He looked over at the brat, and watched as Eren stared right back at him. Erwin sighed and sat back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

 

"Levi, we both know that if you'd came to the interviews, you wouldn't choose an assistant. And I was going to let you come, but after hearing how pissed off you sounded this morning, I thought it'd be better if I held the interviews just in case we had a repeat of last year." Erwin told him, giving him a pointed look at the end, reminding Levi of what happened. Levi snorted at the memory and stared at Erwin.

 

"Of course I fucking rejected them, messy little fuckers. There was no way in hell I was letting any one of them anywhere near me or my office." Levi retorted, and caught Erwin's eye roll.

 

"Yes, but you didn't have to make them  _cry_ , Levi. We could've been sued for harassment, for God's sake!" Levi heard Eren snort beside him and turned in time to see him raise his fist to his mouth to stop any laughter that threatened to bubble out from him.

 

"You... You made them  _cry_? What did you say that was so horrible that they  _cried_?" Eren asked through his barely held in laughs.

 

"Oh, you should've heard some of the insults Levi dished out. He can be very creative with his insults as you'll soon find out." Came Hanji's reply to the question. "Honest to God, over half of them ran from the building in tears, and the other half were so pale and shaky we thought they were going to collapse. Shame really, I wanted to see it happen again this year..." Hanji pouted, giving Erwin a half-hearted glare as she sat in one of the chairs in Erwin's office.

 

Eren looked over at Levi after Hanji stopped talking, and gave him a look of disbelief. Levi glared at him before turning back to Erwin, who simply stared at him.

 

"You're not getting out of this, Levi. Your life will be so much easier with an Executive Assistant and it will take a load off your shoulders, trust me. Give the kid a chance, Levi." Erwin asked him, an almost pleading tone to his voice. Levi looked over at Eren before sighing in irritation.

 

" _Je vais castrer dans ton sommeil_." ( _I'm going to castrate you in your sleep_ ) Levi growled, glaring icily at Erwin, before turning to Eren. "Okay, brat, you've got one week to show me you can do this. Fuck up once, and I won't hesitate to kick your ass out of the building, understand?"

 

Eren nodded and folded his arms. "Yes, sir." Was all he said, and Levi turned to Erwin one last time. "You are such a shithead, you know that?" Erwin simply smiled at him as Levi and Eren walked out the door, and walked in the direction of Levi's office. Levi stopped in front of the cubicle outside his office. "This is where you're going to work. If I find a speck of dust anywhere, I'm going to kick your ass. Keep it clean or, again, I'm going to kick your ass. Basically, don't be a messy shit, alright?" Levi told him, watching as Eren swallowed and nodded.

 

"Now, I'm assuming the IT department has given you a login account for the firm, correct? Get whatever you need set up, put whatever you want on your desk -  _as long as it's tidy_ -, and when you've finished that, come into my office and I'll get you started." Levi told him before turning on his heel and walking into his office, not giving Eren any time for questions.

 

Eren sat down and fished the piece of paper from his pocket with his login credentials on it, and quickly typed in his username and password. He turned on the intercom and quietly walked into Levi's office, picking up the booklet of paper he came with and his box of things to put on his desk - a box of highlighters, fine line pens and ballpoint pens, markers and a picture of his mother, father and sister. After giving his desk a once-over, he nodded and stood, making his way into Levi's office. Levi was sitting behind his desk and thumbing through a small stack of files with a look of concentration on his face.

 

Eren coughed to announce his presence before speaking up. "I've set everything up, Mr. Ackerman." Eren spoke, and Levi paused in his reading to look up at him. There was a brief moment of silence where Levi sat back in his chair and looked Eren over, inspecting his features and body. Eren blushed a pale pink and averted eye contact, but made no move to stop Levi from eye-fucking him from his chair. Levi made a small noise of approval, before sitting forward and leaning his arms on the desk.

 

"Sit." Levi told him, motioning to the chair in front of the desk. Eren nodded and sat in the chair, feeling the smooth leather under his hands. "Now, I'm assuming that Erwin's already gave an explanation as to what you'll be doing as my Executive Assistant? Helping me with cases, filing, being present in meetings, secretarial work, etc?"

 

"Yeah, he gave me a brief rundown of what would happen." Eren confirmed, although he missed out the part where Erwin warned him repeatedly about Levi's temperament and attitude, which terrified the tall blonde at times, advice which Eren wasn't sure whether to take seriously. Levi nodded and stood, gesturing for Eren to follow after him. One thing he noticed about Levi was his outfit.

 

"Sorry for asking, but I thought the dress code was formal attire? Like suits?" Eren questioned, staring at Levi's back in confusion.

 

"It is, but I told Shitwin that the only time I'm wearing a suit is if I'm kicking ass in court or in a very important meeting. If I'm here in the firm, I'm not wearing one." Levi replied as he walked through the corridor, past the glass walls of other partners and paralegals offices. "Has Erwin or Nile given you a tour or anything yet? Actually, ignore the part about Nile, greasy-haired bastard wouldn't bother his ass to give you a tour." Levi grumbled as he walked towards the doors of another office, where a man sat pinching the bridge of his nose outside the door in his cubicle.

 

Said man sighed and looked up, almost falling from his chair in shock. "Mr. Ackerman! My apologies, I hadn't saw you there!" He laughed, albeit nervously. "Hanji's being a handful again, damn woman stresses me out more than anything else!" Levi snorted and looked at the young man.

 

"At least she keeps you on your toes, Moblit." Levi waved a hand dismissively behind him as he walked into Hanji's office. Eren smiled at the brown haired man before following Levi and realising he hadn't answered Levi's question. "Mr. Smith told me about the different departments and what floors they were on, but he didn't personally take me on a tour." Eren answered, closing the door to Hanji's office behind him. Levi nodded and walked over to Hanji.

 

"Levi, my darling! What can I do you for?" Hanji greeted brightly, giving Eren a friendly wave. Eren smiled and waved back, instantly taking a liking to the woman.

 

"For a start you can stop tormenting that poor kid out there, he's going to have grey hair before he's thirty if you keep your shit up. Anyways, I need the Freudenberg files, do you have them?" Levi asked, standing next to her desk and waiting for her to find the files. She rummaged through her drawers for a moment before pulling out the unopened brown envelope and handing it over to him.

 

"Hmm, I really should make it up to him huh?" Hanji mumbled to herself, looking over at where Moblit was typing away at his computer. She looked deep in thought for a moment before turning back to them and smiling. Her eyes flickered between the two males before her gaze turned mischievous and she grinned at them. Hanji stood abruptly and pulled Levi close, whispering something in his ear, before skipping merrily out of her office and mentioning something to Moblit about going to see Erwin.

 

Eren watched her and laughed in confusion, and slight nervousness, before turning back to Levi, who was standing perfectly still with almost widened eyes and looked deep in thought. Levi almost growled in what seemed like annoyance, and pinched the bridge of his nose, before walking past Eren and out the door. Eren followed behind and walked beside him, and looked over at him. "What did Miss Hanji say? You seem annoyed by it." Eren questioned, fully prepared for Levi to beat the shit out of him for even asking, but it never came.

 

Levi turned and looked at him, before facing forward again. "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough..." Levi sighed and walked through the doors to his office when they arrived. He motioned for Eren to follow him and he walked over to the sofa, sitting down and opening the envelope in his hand. Eren did as he was told and sat down next to him just as Levi opened the envelope and pulled out the files. He lay them out on the table and quickly glanced over the front of the files.

 

"So, you've probably heard of MP, right?" Levi asked as he picked up a file and scanned his eyes over the words. Eren nodded and looked at the rest of the files, and picked up one that had bank statements on it. "Well, one of their workers, Marlo Freudenberg, originally wanted to sue two of his superiors for harassment, but during one of his shifts, he found some of their equipment was missing and went to locate it, and saw the same two superiors selling them off illegally. So, he came to us for help, obviously, and we have all the evidence we need, we just need to make a case." Levi explained, turning to Eren to make sure he caught everything. Eren nodded once again and put the bank statement back onto the table.

 

"What do you need me to do?" Eren asked as he glanced at Levi, determined to help. Levi smirked at his determination and picked up some files. He stood and walked over to his desk and sat down, placing the files in front of him and turning to his computer.

 

"I need you to email Mr. Freudenberg and set up a meeting so we can go over everything before setting up another meeting with the other lawyers. After you've emailed him, either go and find Arlert or email and tell him to come up here. The kid's got a good head on his shoulders, and I want him to go over everything after we've finished to make sure we haven't missed anything." Levi told him, before grabbing a post-it note and writing something down on it and handing it to Eren. "Here, this is the client's email. Do you need Arlerts email?" Levi asked, leaning back in his chair and looking up at Eren.

 

"Arlert? Armin Arlert, sir? No need for the email, I already have it. I'll email them both right now, when would you like the date and time of the meeting with Mr. Freudenberg?" Eren replied, smiling slightly. Levi gave him a look but ignored the look on his face in favour of looking at his laptop.

 

"Whatever time suits him best on Wednesday. That'll give us enough time to go over everything and make our case." Levi replied, as he opened up the various files that he would need on his computer. Eren nodded and walked out the door, sitting at his cubicle and turning to his computer.

 

Levi's mind wandered back to Hanji's earlier words as he watched Eren, and he sighed before looking at his laptop.

 

It was going to be a long fucking day.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! And please feel free to point out any mistakes too.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated! I'll see you in the next chapter m'dears.
> 
> Also, if you have any ideas of what I can call this story, please comment your idea. I'm not fond of the title, and I wanted to get this story up as soon an possible, so this was the first idea that came into my head. Please let me know if you can think of anything!


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